Netflix? Na, #BLOCKPICS
notes on the b-chain, scamtent... this HoFoEv is braindead
A 30 y/o dude who has made $25 billi slinging crypto… see if you can spot his friend… siiiiik
NFTelevangelists,
At long last, I finally checked out the new theater in Cinefamily's old spot: Brain Dead Studios, a one-screen repertory sitch run by a streetwear brand that sells needlessly yuge crew neck sweats. The ghost of its past inhabitants loomed in the schmancy cafe out back: I overheard snippets of a post-post-hipster babe tell a table full of scuzzy dudes about an uncomfortable experience shooting a sex scene. What is it with Fairfax Ave.?! Well, I suppose I’m glad to have a new spot with a good lineup of movies playing -- even if it is haunted.
~~scammers~~
We know the score. Capitalism is a big scam, made up of many smaller scams. Entertainment is a more honest scam, where you pay to be distracted from capitalism.
So... why is all entertainment about scams? Here's an incomplete list of scamtent that has been marketed to me this week: Super Pumped (Uber: Joe Gordon Levitt), WeCrashed (WeWork: Jared Leto, Anne Hathaway), The Dropout (Theranos: Amanda Seyfried), Inventing Anna (Julia Garner), Tinder Swindler, Bad Vegan (actually good, keep an eye out) -- WeGetIt.
Pitching stories about scammers feels scammy. Because in the streaming world, nobody has to watch your shit. You get paid the same either way. You just need the greenlight. And you know what's an easy sell to a streamer? [Insert Star] Plays Scammer. Or, for docs, Scam + Victim On Camera.
And that's just the scamtent that's being marketed to me already. There's more coming. Remember the five scripted projects that blossomed in immediate response to WallStreetBets? I keep hearing that The Dropout is fun... but is anyone ever going to watch any of this ripped-from-the-headlines shit again?!
Blockchain to the rescue??? Hear me out…
I may be exhausted by the con craze, but -- get ready to throw your phone and unsubscribe -- I have patience for the motherlode of scams: the blockchain. I know that among some people who share my politics and tastes, the blockchain is poisonous. I'm still one of you: Of course, every single NFT I've ever seen sucks and only makes me doubt the whole enterprise. Lest you think I'm greedy, I've lost money on crypto. And I have zero technical knowledge of any of this shit. Last, it goes without saying that the blockchain won't liberate anybody.
But I’m open to the blockchain one day enabling things that are not scams. This is the best explanation of crypto that I’ve read — all the good & bad & culture warring.
I’m paying attention because I suspect the blockchain could help certain filmmakers. There are already people trying to raise money for movies through crypto ...These people are also definitely it it for themselves & seem like utter fucking bozos who won't get off the ground. Then there are well-intentioned true indie filmmakers who are raising money on super small scales, which I think is sweet but not really indicative of what's coming. There won’t be a revolution, but it’ll be more than a confusing version of Kickstarter with long explanations of "tokens."
The blockchain will #disrupt the industry by giving filmmakers new ways of both fundraising for & distributing their movies. Before long, somebody is going to make their indie without needing a financier, or an agency to find that financier, and they aren't going to need a streamer for people to see the movie. They also won't need as much attention from entertainment lawyers. Hollywood won't end anytime soon, but it'll have new competition that, for certain producers, will make the traditional industry seem like a glorified middleman.
Here's what the film business on the blockchain could look like: Say you're... I don't know... Robert Rodriguez, or Anthony Anderson, or an unhireable like Gina Carano, or you have the rights to some book series with a foaming fanbase. Basically, you're lucky enough to have a built-in audience, and you want to make a movie for, say, $20MM. Once you have your script and package and a date when you’d finish the movie, you'll go to your fans with a splashy social campaign that makes an offer…
The big premise: raising financing by inviting fans to buy their tickets in advance. The ticket is also a tiny investment in the production that’s entirely traceable on the blockchain. If not enough money is raised for production, the fans get their money back.
$10 buys a ticket, plus your money back if the movie breaks even & a microscopic royalty stream of future profits; $100 buys you a ticket, plus money back at breakeven & a proportional royalty stream; $10,000 buys you a ticket, a Zoom with Anthony Anderson, plus money back at breakeven, plus .05% of future profits.
The ticket really is a ticket. You'll get your screener right there on the chain. Or it'll be a ticket to something digital — access to the premiere within Roblox.
The ticket is also a tiny investment. Your royalty stream the moment we finish the movie, one year from today. If we don't deliver, you automatically get your money back. (The genius of the blockchain is that it'll transparently track the royalty.)
With the right names involved, fans would go for that -- enough to get movies made & shake up the business a little. It won't happen all at once, and the chainflixx movement won't rise up above Hollywood, but there'll be a strange, new ecosystem in parallel. Call me crazy, but we've so normalized "creators" being in parasocial relationships with their fans, and we're all spending money more cavalierly online. This model feels like a natural evolution of -- to put it in gross elevator pitch terms -- Twitch/Patreon meets Robinhood in the world of film. So I'm not talking about the kiddie pool of Kickstarter, where you're just donating money, or little kindnesses like giving away production still photos or props, which, well, no one cares about. Fans would have a movie to look forward to & would enjoy betting on the movie blowing up.
And to be clear, I'm not saying you could make your movie this way, but Hassan Minhaj could & will. I pick Hassan because he's got a real audience, but not enough to make the business come to him. So unless his movie package were revelatory & either micro-budget or star-studded, even he would have a hard time getting it made right now. If he could bypass the industry proper & go directly to his fans, seamlessly? To make the movie immediately? Cementing his relationships with his fans who love him & believe he's only getting bigger? He and his fans would all be better off without Hollywood involved.
The thing is, for the time being, none of this is technically or legally possible, and what tech exists isn’t user-friendly enough for mass adoption, but the foundations have been built. There isn't enough data on the blockchain to give people one-of-a-kind screeners (hence NFTs being weird stills), but that's just a matter of time. Securities law regulates who can invest in what, but the blockchain's defining feature -- its transparent record-keeping -- will usher in a dizzying range of transactions that will overpower the regulatory regime.
This is not a remotely comprehensive accounting of the ways the blockchain might affect the business, whether that's through streamlining some Business Affairs stuff (no miracles possible there) or roving bands of fans teaming up to commission their dream movies.
Those movies, if they ever get made, probably won’t be any good. But in some distant future, once we all get a hang of this shit, the sinfully good fringe filmmakers — the next Charles Burnett — might get the modest sum they need to make their movies in peace.
Till then? Don't lose your keys or your minds.
Hollywood Forever Y'all,
Max